Thursday, September 9, 2010

How to get rid of the morning "under eye" baggage.

Okay, I've been TOTALLY putting off my first post. Mostly, because I'm boring as hell and no one else will find this amusing. SO, just a quick one to get me going.

I know we have all read the little helpful hint of putting Hemorrhoid Cream under your eyes to help get rid of the puffy dark circles we get under our eyes..right? As in Preparation-H? Well, I finally remembered to buy one and hide it from my husband, because, lets face it...if he has used it anywhere near his ass, I'm SO not using it on my face. This morning, I look in the mirror, and holy fucking shit, there are two hefty lawn and leaf bags under my eyes. I dig my tube of Prep-H out of it's hiding space, and liberally apply. I must have missed something in all this. I ended up with it in my right eye very quickly. So, I have no clue how I fucked up this simple hint, but I do know what I looked like about 5 minutes later. My right eye turned blood red, then started to really water. You know the kind, water gushing from your eye causing your nose to flood with the tears. I grabbed a cool washcloth to try to help remove some of the greasy Prep-H, and sat with it over my eye while just giving up and letting my nose run like a fountain.
    My end result? My right eye running and weeping, unable to see because it had a film over it, left eye looking all greasy, nose red and running. But DAUM....pretty sure it did get rid of a bit of the dark circles.
I'm pathetic. Then I spent the rest of the day, watching ghost stories on A&E, watching that show "Hoarders" because then I get to be all gloating and superior-like because my house isn't "THAT" bad (yet..oh yet). Seriously, watch it!! Then send the link to your mother in law with the note "See, I told you it could get worse", then pour yourself a strong drink, spiced rum is a good one for ANY time of the day, and sit back, wipe your runny eye and nose, and call it a successful day.

P.S. I have noticed that my sentence structure and grammar is WAY off the mark. Blame it on the lack of vision, the rum/ativan combo, or stupidity. Take your pick.

Oh..P.P.S. Her Majesty (my 11 year old daughter) comes running up to me saying "I just took a really good picture of Davey (Our neurologically challenged, no tail cat)" and she shoves her digital camera at me. I download it......it's a picture of HIS FOOT?????

Quite honestly, it IS a good picture of Davey, or at least his foot!! I LOVE IT, I have now found the new profile pic I have been searching to find.

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